Rules and Punishment

Knowing the Rules and Consequences!

Disciplining and punishment are the same right?  Wrong!

We cannot use them interchangeably.  The goal of punishment is to penalize a child for misbehavior. The goal of disciplining is to shape behavior.  In my practice I do not advocate for punishment.  My families tell me that once they learn to use discipline they find it more powerful than any punishment. 

Some tips:

1)        Parents, for discipline to work you need to be clear about what specific behavior you are trying to modify and what behavior you wish to achieve.

2)        Find a consequence that is effective for YOUR child.

3)        Be clear in your definition of acceptable and unacceptable behavior

4)        The intensity of the physical pain for the consequence doesn’t make a difference.

5)        This has to be consistent.  A child needs to hear something over and over to make the   connection and children test limits. 

Why does this work?  Behaviors change when children know the ‘rules’ to follow and what will occur when they do not.  Please help your children grow by offering them rules/expectations, consequences, and consistency.

Something to think about...

A recent study found that people who gave up Facebook for just one week (one week) reported less envy, less sadness and feeling an overall increase in satisfaction with their lives.  

Something to consider just one week free from facebook; how would you feel?

The study was based from the concept that "When we evaluate our lives, we are influenced by social comparisons. How am I doing compared to my peers? Since social media is a constant flow of great news for other people, we wanted to conduct an experiment where a randomised trial group did not log on to Facebook for one week. We were surprised by the results." 

Isn't that true for most of us.

Wanna read more about this study at http://www.happinessresearchinstitute.com/

What I hope this blog post suggests is: We have to have boundaries with social media, cell phones, friends, emails, work, etc...  If facebook isn't your go to or if you can't do a whole week disconnected, what about setting limits for how long and when you connect.  Even disconnecting from a cellphone at the end of the day is restoring.

Consider it!

Stop asking "How was your day?" and start getting a look into your kids lives

Tired of hearing "fine."  Try out some of these questions: 

Questions a kid will answer at the end of a long school day:

1. What did you eat for lunch?
2. Did you catch anyone picking their nose?
3. What games did you play at recess?
4. What was the funniest thing that happened today?
5. Did anyone do anything super nice for you?
6. What was the nicest thing you did for someone else?
7. What or who made you smile today?
8. Which one of your teachers would survive a zombie apocalypse? Why?
9. What new fact did you learn today?
10. Who brought the best food in their lunch today? What was it?
11. What challenged you today?
12. If school were a ride at the fair, which ride would it be? Why?
13. What would you rate your day on a scale of 1 to 10? Why?
14. If one of your classmates could be the teacher for the day who would you want it to be? Why?
15. If you had the chance to be the teacher tomorrow, what would you teach the class?
16. Did anyone push your buttons today?
17. Who do you want to make friends with but haven’t yet? Why not?
18. What is your teacher’s most important rule?
19. What is the most popular thing to do at recess?
20. Does your teacher remind you of anyone else you know? How?
21. Tell me something you learned about a friend today.
22. If aliens came to school and beamed up 3 kids, who do you wish they would take? Why?
23. What is one thing you did today that was helpful?
24. When did you feel most proud of yourself today?
25. What rule was the hardest to follow today?
26. What is one thing you hope to learn before the school year is over?
27. Which person in your class is your exact opposite?
28. Which area of your school is the most fun?
29. Which playground skill do you plan to master this year?
30. Does anyone in your class have a hard time following the rules?

Guess what?  Its great for spouses too!

Enjoy-Jodi


Taken from 
http://parent.co/30-questions-to-ask-your-kid-instead-of-how-was-your-day/

Bonus Video-Meditation 101

Check out this great intro to meditation!

Meditation 101

Meditation is not a faith based practice.  It has many  health benefits.  Try it out for 5 minutes a day!

Also, visit http://www.happify.com for guided meditations and other mindfulness-building activities designed by experts. 

Nap? No!

I am enclosing a list of ideas to help if you’re feeling run down, but need to skip the nap.    

Remember naps are only best at 20 minutes or less.  If you’re getting your full 7-10 hours of sleep a nap shouldn’t be needed.  

If you feel tired all the time, consider talking to a counselor about your sleep so that a sleep diet can be sorted out.  You may even need to look into getting a blood draw from your doctor.

Here are some quick ideas for ‘napless’ days!

1) Senses. The easiest way to stay awake is your senses. Why? The more parts of your body that are alert, the less likely it is you will fall asleep. 

Here are a few things to try for your senses:

• Turn up the lights, as many as you can. If you cannot control         the lights, position yourself close to a window.
• Taste mint flavors or other stimulating foods.
• Smell peppermint oil to wake up your sense of smell.  You can also rub this at the base of your neck and back of your head to get a quick energy boost.
• Listen.  Music, like jazz,  rock, or any song that makes you feel alert.  What is your energy song?
• Pull on your earlobes
• Splash your face with cold water or give your self an ice massage on your face.
• Make a fist with our hands and open them 10-12 times.
• Get some FRESH air.  Breath in and out a few times before heading back to your work/house/etc..

2) Stressed Eyes.  Take a break from your computer or text and look out a window.

3) Move. Trick your body into being more alert than you feel by getting up and moving.  Do some arm, back, neck and leg stretches to get your blood moving.  Roll your shoulders around.

4) Stay Active.  A few minutes of exercise a day can have a dramatic impact on how awake your body is.

1) Walk whenever you can

2) Take the stairs

3) Make it a habit it work out 2-3 times every week.

5) Breakfast. Protein in the morning will help you make it through the day.  Look at what your eating for breakfast and switch it up.  

• Egg Whites and turkey.  
• Make it a power smoothie with lots of good greens and protein.

6) Drink cold water.  Staying hydrated

Some ideas for situations:

At Work

Find someone to talk to briefly, a co-worker or a phone call to a friend.

Change it up; switch tasks.

At School

Take Notes, by activity writing down what is going on in a seminar you will stay alert.

Ask and Answer questions.

At home:

Look at flashing colors. They have loads of apps that display bright luminous colors.

Listen to an energizing binaural beat

Take a cold shower

Do something you really enjoy. Engaged = Awake/Alert

Live Your Life

Live YOUR Life

Eleanor Roosevelt once said “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
 

This post is going to be short and simple!  As we age, we forget how we want to live our life, with job demands and life demands we find ourselves being less active and having less fun.   

Have you said recently said that all it feels like you get done is work at your job and your household?  YES? Then I encourage you to find one (JUST ONE) thing to do for just you (yes, just you)! 

Why?  Facing a challenged brings us to a place of happiness, absolute calm, and yes PEACE!   Doing and being active allows us to engage in life and when we engage in our lives we do not leave room for self doubt, depression, or anger.

How?  Start in reflection.  

                      What do you wish you were doing right now?  

                      If that doesn’t work, what are your friends doing that you want to do?

                      If that doesn’t work, What activities did you enjoy when you were younger?

What? It may be as simple as adding in a walk in the woods, learning a new cooking technique, taking a class to learn a new skill or as complex as fire walking, traveling…the options are endless and they are yours.

Go for it!

Just a Video

In honor of Play Therapy week (February 1-7th) I am posting a video that explains what we Play Therapist do!  Enjoy!

Play Therapy Works!